I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
