So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
