My liver just broke up with me...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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