Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
