she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
