Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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