i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
