"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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