If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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