2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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