I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
