Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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