Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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