"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
