You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
