She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
