Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
