after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
