It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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