3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I need help removing her.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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