Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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