I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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