he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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