his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
