just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.