I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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