Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
