Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize