I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Ambien. No doubt about it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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