Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
