Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
