I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When are your genitals available?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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