hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
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I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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