Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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