weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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