What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
