break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
