I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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