Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize