I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
