Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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