tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
