so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
