3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
