that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
