The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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