Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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