First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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