I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
