And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
