Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I could fuck to npr.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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