No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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