Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
