Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
