This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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