Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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