So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
