hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize