I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
