Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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