She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Little spoons don't ask big questions
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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