I am in a vortex of obligation.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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