My hand turned me down
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
