is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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