Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
