Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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