you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize