we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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