Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
