Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
