I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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